Why I'm Single

So I was driving along in the car the other day, minding my business, when my ears were assaulted with the news that by age 35 I only have a 15% chance of getting pregnant.  Immediately my mind went into crisis management mode.  Mathematical equations flew through my brain as I determined that I only have 7 good years left (actually 6 years and 9 months, but who's counting?  I'll tell you who, this girl!)  and thatseems like a very small window for me to accomplish all my pre-baby professional goals,  meet the guy, date for a suitable amount of time, get engaged, plan a wedding, get married,  spend at least a year or two enjoying newlywedom and then start considering babies.

I had to rationalize that this horrifying radio ad was for a news broadcast and they were counting on freaking out women, like myself, enough to tune in.  Who am I kidding, that rationale only lasted a sweet second before it fluttered away and was replaced by the thought that perhaps I am just too picky.  But don't I have the right to be picky?  Isn't the right guy the one that fits into your life as equally and perfectly as you fit into his? Or have I been brainwashed by all those delicious fairytales and romcoms I love so much?

Then I stumbled upon this post and I realized that maybe my list of standards isn't as demanding as I thought! Here's my list.

1. I need a man that is philanthropic.  Understanding the importance of giving back to the world is really important to me and shows me that a guy cares about more than just himself.
2. He has to have a passion.  I don't really care what that passion is for (okay, maybe I care a little), it just has to be something.
3. I feel like it's requires a pretty basic level of understanding to know the difference of there, their and they're.  This one grammar staple has been a consistent roadblock when I attempt to date online. 
4. On a similar note, it's not u, it's you. There is a difference between abbreviations and laziness.
5. I know it's superficial, but I just can't handle sandals with socks.
6. I like to wear heels and I don't like to feel bad about my heels because of his height complex. He has to be taller than me.  
7. He has to enjoy traveling or aspire to see the world. An absolute must!  I have a thirst for knowledge and experience and I need to share that.
8. Great eyes and a killer smile.  Both have always been my weakness.
9. He has probably been on a team that required throwing a ball.  What can I say, I have a thing for athletes.  
10. He has a career.  Bonus points if he is a successful entrepreneur-something I aspire to be.
11. He has to be good to his mom and his sisters if he has them.  
12. In a world where technology allows us to never have to speak to one another, he's not afraid to pick up the phone.  I like getting phone calls. It's kind of like getting a letter in the mail.
13. He is never rude to people in the service industry.
14. He's a good role model for my little brothers and loves any opportunity to teach them things.  (This shows me he'll probably be an awesome dad someday.
15. He likes doing his own thing and doesn't mind me doing my own thing.  I like to spend time with my friends or do things on my own, and I don't have time for jealousy.
16. I don't think I could be with a Vegan, cheese will always be a part of my life.
17. No Affliction or Ed Hardy- leave the sparkly things to me.  
18. He's a cuddler.
19. Honesty, loyalty, and kindness are high on his list of values.
20. He's a gentleman and a romantic, or at least he tries to be.  

 I suppose some items are negotiable, but for the most part, life has taught me that my Mr. Right will embody most of this list.

So sure, maybe I am single because I am picky, but I'm not willing to settle.  Maybe I'm not putting myself out there.  Or, as a friend of mine ever so eloquently put it, "Ashley, if you were a taxi, you'd be spending all your time driving around the city, but never turning your light on.  No one would even know you were available."  Or maybe my singleness is all part of some delightful plan that I haven't been privy to.

Yep, those romcoms have really done a number on me!