Seven Ingredients For Happiness- According To Me

So I have been doing a lot of thinking lately (and watching a lot of TED talks) about the art of being happy.   In addition to my health goals, I have been on a mission the last few months to actively cultivate happiness and I thought that today, I might share with you my completely unscientific finding about being happy.

1. Practice makes perfect.  What I am about to tell you probably makes me sound like a cuckoo bird, but every day, when I wake up,  I try to write down at least one thing I am grateful for.  Then before bed, I spend 15 minutes clearing my head, calming my spirit and counting my blessings.  It allows me to start and end my day with gratitude- something that can turn even the worst day around.   

2. Own the responsibility for your happiness.  There is nothing in this world that is going to make you happy unless you let it.  A better job, a bigger house, a boyfriend/husband, a raise, losing weight, none of these things will make you happy. Because, things don't make you happy.  You make you happy.  I'm not saying you shouldn't have goals, but you shouldn't assume happiness is the outcome of accomplishment.  Happiness is the outcome of choosing to find fabulous instead of flaw.

3. Practice the 80/20 rule.  At least 80% of the things you say out loud, post on social media, or obsess about should be positive. The more you focus on the good, the less the bad matters.

4. Exercise.  "Exercise gives, you endorphin's. Endorphin's make you happy.  Happy people just don't shoot their husbands."  But seriously, exercise is good for mind, body and soul.

5.  Spend time doing good things.  Volunteer, go to beautiful places, be kind to people, share your talents.  The more good you put out into the world, the more good comes back to you.  They say Karma is a bitch, but I tend to think she's pretty kind.

6. Pet baby animals and make babies laugh.  If that doesn't make you happy, you may have a black heart.

7.  Be authentic.  I say this a lot, but I've found that the easiest way to be happy is to be yourself and love who you are.  Don't try to put on a show.  Don't let yourself be consumed with what other people might think,  just do you- and have a hell of a good time.  

There you have it.  I don't have any scientific data, to back these things up.  I certainly don't have my own TED talk, but I fell like a unofficial and completely unqualified expert on how to go from sad, cranky and self obsessed to genuinely happy.    Try following these rules and let me know how they work for you.  (I'm serious about petting baby animals.)

Do you have any happiness rules?  Share them with me!

It's A Beautiful Morning

I believe in starting your day beautifully. 
For me that means having fresh flowers somewhere in the house.  I love to have flowers on my nightstand or a bouquet on the dining room table.  Something about fresh blooms just makes every day better!  This week I've enjoyed my breakfast with a side of peonies.

I'm not going to lie to you, I've been pretty impressed with the fact that I have actually made myself breakfast each morning this week.  Maybe that doesn't sound like a huge accomplishment to you, but I don't generally get up early enough to eat, let alone enjoy my morning.  I have always valued those extra minutes of slumber, but this week I may have taken one more step into adulthood.

It's been lovely taking a few minutes each morning to prepare for the day, enjoy a good breakfast and delight in my pretty pink peonies.  It just might be my new morning ritual.

What helps you start your day off right?

The Best Friday

So let me tell you why today is the most exciting day of my adult life!  No it's not because of anything the Mayans predicted.  It's because for the first time, ever, I have 2 whole weeks off from work.  Since I started working back in August of 2007, I have never taken this much time off.  I feel like it's almost unheard of these days to take 16 days off in a row and not be a teacher or unemployed or self employed.  And boy do I have big plans:

The house I grew up in.

-I am headed home to AZ for the majority of my vacation to celebrate the holidays with the fam and cause a little trouble with my best girlfriends. It's going to be so strange to be a guest for Christmas.

-Getting my hair done (which is super exciting because it has been 4 months. Eek!

Me and bestie about 2 years ago

-Rubbing my bestie's baby bump for an awkwardly long amount of time.

Suns love from 2010-12

-I get to say hello to my beloved Phoenix Suns, not once but twice!

A rainy Coach House Christmas circa 2008

-Meeting up with the whole gang for a Coach House Christmas (details to come later)

-Drinking as much wine as I want with my best girls.

-Getting some serious design work done for The Life: Stylish (Need a new blog layout?  The Life: Stylish can help!  *shameless plug*  And since we are being shameless... wanna sponsor me?)

-Ringing in 2013 with a big glass of bubbly and a lot of hope for the future.

My last girls trip to Vegas

-Heading to Las Vegas for a bachelorette party where we plan to paint the town!


Now if all that doesn't sound awesome, I don't know what does!

Oh, and here are my thoughts on this whole end of the world business.  I hope today really is the end of the world (gasp!)... a very specific world.

A world that cares more about being the right one, than doing what's right for everyone.
A world where people lash out at one another instead of show kindness, love and compassion.
A world that cares more about our stock investments than where we are investing our time.
A world where people are afraid to ask for help, from others, from professionals and from God.

So if R.E.M was right and it is the "end of the world as we know it", then I agree, "I feel fine!"

Twenty-Seven in 27

Am I really 27? 

I am.  Most days I feel like I am much younger, too unaccomplished and as terrified as a recent graduate that can't find a job.  I often accidentally tell people I am 25. Shouldn't a 27 year old be set on a career path, own more than her car and be able to afford a vacation? Occasionally, like when I am making big life decisions or feeling particularly successful, I feel like I can say I am 27 with pride. Those moments are usually few and fleeting.  So in an effort to not be surprised a year from now when 28 is on the horizon, I am making a list of goals to accomplish this year.  You have probably seen these posts floating around the blogoshpere lately.  It's time for me to jump on board!  Plus it was easy to steal some from my 30 before 30 list.  Stealing...multitasking...same thing. 

1. Move to a new state- this one is super easy seeing as I'm already here.  I like to start off with things I know I can accomplish so I can get the momentum going!

2.  Lose 50 pounds.  I have a hard time with committing to weight loss, but I am thinking that in addition to my location change I will try some lifestyle changes as well.  And let's be honest, I plan on spending a lot of time on the beach and I would prefer to do that with a little less fat.  If part of my routine could include dance classes, that would be great!

3.  Run a 1/2 marathon.  I was not born a runner.  I have yet to mold myself into a runner.  I am going to do it though.  Even if I hate it. 

4.  Learn how to paddle board.  I have a lot of anxiety about being in water that I can't see the bottom of.  I feel pretty good about being on top of it though.  Since I am moving to the beach, it seems like a good time to give it a try.  Plus I hear it's a great workout.

5.  Again since I will be near the beach, I think it is time I actually learn how to ride a bike.  Then I will have a reason to get a really cute yellow beach cruiser!

6.  I really want to do an urban race or one of those obstacle course races.  Who's in?

7. Make something old new again.  And by that I mean some kind of Pinterest project to redo an old piece of furniture.  Considering I sold off all of my furniture, this seems like a very likely necessary item to check off the list soon.

8.  Go to LA to the new Sprinkles Ice Cream shop. (and explore.  I haven't been to LA since I was 13.)

9.  Go to Vegas for Meagan's bachelorette party.  I. Can't. Wait.

10.  Get comfortable in my new job.  I expect that to take a solid 6-12 months.  It's a big step, but a step that feels right. (It's one of the things that actually makes me feel 27.)

11.  Go see the Bethenny Show live.  I would settle for Ellen too.

12. Spend a day at Disneyland with a kid- specifically my little brother.  Don't read this Colton, you'll spoil your birthday/Christmas present!

13. Reach 500 followers on my blog.  I love interacting with all of you.

14.  Give up soda.  Seriously this time.  Good thing I have a year to do it.

15. Join a team.  A kickball team, softball team- whatever.  I love playing on a team.

16. Pay off  a good majority of debt and cut up all but one of my store credit cards.  If you are wondering, the lucky card that won't get the ax is my Macy's card.  Solidify and stick to a budget so that someday I will be able to buy a home, go on vacations and eventually retire.

Man coming up with 27 things is kind of hard. 

17.  Visit a state I haven't been to.  Is it cheating if I already did that when I went to Virginia last week?

18. Take a vacation with the boyfriend.  We've always visited people.  I'd like us to do something together, just us!

19.  Buy a DSLR camera.  Savings plan in action!

20.  Go on a cruise with all my girlfriends.  Who doesn't want to do that every year!

21.  Make a definitive decision about Grad school.  Should I even get my masters? What program should I do?  When should I start?  What do I want to be when I grow up?

22.  Start working on a book.  I have some awesome ideas, it's really more about setting aside the time to get it going. 

23.  Find a permanent place to live, preferably near the beach.

24.  Embrace being comfortable with who I am.

25.  This might sound weird, but increase my water intake.  I think that will happen naturally when I stop drinking soda.  I'm constantly dehydrated.

26.  Get organized.  I have a tendency to be a little messy if everything doesn't have a home.  When I take the time to give things a home, things never get messy.

27.  Really appreciate and enjoy this next year.  It's definitely starting a new chapter and I don't want to miss a single opportunity.

Whew, that was way harder than it looks!  What are you going to do this year?

Giant Birthday Giveaway

Today, August 20th, is my 27th birthday!  I am actually traveling across country today for work, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to have an AWESOME birthday.  Why you ask?  Well today I am hosting a HUGE giveaway for my readers! 

I have always been more concerned about putting together the perfect swag bag for my party guests than what I am going to get as a gift, so in true Ashley fashion, (and thanks to some awesome Birthday Swag Bag sponsors) I am giving away possibly the greatest birthday swag bag ever to one lucky reader! These goodies value over $300!   And for your gift to me, all you have to do is enter the Rafflecopter drawing below (and maybe become a follower too?). 

Here are the details:

Niki from Gumdrops and Gloss is giving away a $25 gift card to Sephora. (Reason enough to enter right there, but oh my friends there is much more!

Erin from Living in Yellow (don't you just love her?) is giving away a medium ad space on her blog!

Jen from That's What She Read is giving away Gone Girl- Check out her blog.  She is newer to the blogging scene, but super great!  Super.

Tammy of Lemons Avocados & The Bay is hooking someone up with a small ad!

Jenn from Party of One is giving a $15 gift card to H&M!

Melissa from The Life Of A Not So Ordinary Wife is giving away a $10 credit to her Not So Ordinary Shop!  Check it out, cute stuff!

Neely, one of my absolute favorites from A Complete Waste Of Makeup is giving away a $25 gift card to Starbucks AND a medium ad space!  She's one of your favorites too now huh?

Courtney from Courtney Cakes is giving away a Scentsy Plug in (I picked it out!)

With all these ads you'll have, you'll need a button design!  Janna, from Perception is Everything is going to design a button for you!

Molly from That Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi is giving away some of her favorite things, including nail polishes, Burt's Bees products and some delicious almonds.

Have you met Mary from A Happy Wife In New Orleans?  She is giving away an ad space on her blog.

Laura from Under the Suburban Sun is giving away a Seche Base and Top coat polish. Jealous!

Jenni from Story of My Life is sending you some adorable note cards




Natalie, from Urban Anthropology is giving away $15 to Anthropologie

Holly from Running In Stilettos is hooking some lucky reader up with a few of her favorite things


Plus I am giving away a surprise prize pack of my favorite things valued at $55!!!! 

Okay so you totally have to enter like a million times! Good luck and thanks for helping me celebrate my birthday!

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/6fd0310/" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway

It's Okay and Chik-fil-a

So, this started out like any of my usual It's okay posts, and then went of in a different direction.  I think you should know before you read this, I typically don't share my opinions on political things.  They are my opinions, I voice them with my vote.  I will get in the occasional debate, but I don't think my blog is a place to push any political agenda.  However, before you keep reading I think you should know a couple things. I consider myself a fiscally conservative, socially liberal Republican.  I also consider myself to be Christian, although my definition may be different than yours.  Okay, lets get to it. 

 

It's okay....

To be super excited about my new job and big move, but simultaneously super nervous and anxious.

To already have anxiety about packing even though I haven't even thought about where to begin.

To tear up at a Kelly Clarkson concert because the song was everything you needed to hear at that moment (I'm a total sap).

To want a whole new wardrobe for your new job, but show serious self restraint by meticulously planning the pair of pants (instead of every shade of the rainbow) you are going to get on a sweet buy one get one free deal and NY and Co.

To cry during the Olympics (see, I'm a sap).

To start every day with a Diet Pepsi (even though you have been "giving it up" for years).

To be really proud of yourself for being yourself, moving on and making positive changes.

To have an opinion on the whole Chik-fil-a thing even though I haven't eaten there since college, because I never really liked the chicken, just the waffle fries.

...and here is my opinion.  I think the whole thing is sad.  Here's the thing, it's all about the freedom of choice.  Christian or not. Gay marriage rights supporter or not. Chik-fil-a lover or not. Socialist or not.  We live in America, where we were given the right to free speech, where the government doesn't own and determine what companies we frequent, where we are suppose to have equal rights, where if you want waffle fries you have many choices.  I think sometimes if people just took a step back and looked at the whole situation, they would see what a circus it has become. 

We all have opinions.  We all have a right to those opinions.  So Dan Cathy doesn't support gay marriage.  That is his right.  His financial support of anti gay and lesbian groups, leaves a bad taste in my mouth, one that even those delicious waffle fries can't cover up.  So even if I was a Chik fan, I probably wouldn't go there anymore.  I don't want my money to be paid to a company that donates to to those groups. That is my choice. He allowed me that opinion by being honest about his beliefs.  However, I don't think a city or state has the right to ban Chik-fil-a.  Won't it probably go out of business anyway if people CHOOSE not to go there?

More than that, I think it so sad that people use this particular situation as a way to preach hate.  Having an opinion of totally fine, but you shouldn't have to put down other people for theirs.  I will never understand why the world or at least Americans can't accept that everyone is different and that is what makes life great.  After all, haven't people always come here to escape persecution and make a better life?

My belief system is based on a couple basic principles.
1. I believe in a God that loves all of his children.  Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Black, White... whatever.
2. I believe that the bible tells us to love each other, not judge each other and be who we are even in the face of adversity.  Not to be corny, but seriously kids WWJD? 
3. I believe, as Americans, we all should have equal rights.  The right to marry whoever we want. The right to open food chains where we want.  The right to speak our opinions.  The right to spend our dollar in any way we like.

 I believe all this talk of waffle fries is making me hungry! 

 As a lover of getting to know and understand people, I want to know what you think!  Please share below!

Who Has Two Thumbs...

and got a new fantastic job in California?  This girl!!!

Okay, so I needed one thumb to take the picture

You may have caught where I snuck some info into this post about being in the final stages of interviewing for a new job.  Well, I got it!  I am so excited for this huge career move!  I will be managing the online fundraising and social media interactions for all the Southern California events of a national nonprofit organization.  That means I will be working with three different offices in Southern California to come up with online communication strategies and build their events in size and dollars raised.  It's a brand new position for the organization, a step into management for me and I couldn't be more excited for the adventure it will bring. 

Oh, and the position is in California.  You guys know how I love the beach!  I currently live in Arizona, so the next two weeks are going to be quite a whirlwind of packing, looking for a new place to live and, well, moving!  I. Am. Pumped.  I have no idea where I am going to live, no furniture anymore, no idea how I will learn to navigate (Arizona roads are a simple grid), but I love the thrill of something new.

My first day is my birthday!  I can't think of a better gift from the universe!

This is just proof that if you put the things you want out there, ask for them, work for them and stay positive (most of the time); good things happen! Thanks to everyone who sent positive thoughts my way!  I can't wait to see where my life is headed. 

The Difference Between Impossible and Possible

I know I usually talk about women who inspire, but today I want to talk about a couple who inspires. You may all remember about a two weeks ago when I talked about how seconds can change your life when I told you all about a friend who was in a BMX accident and couldn't feel his legs.  Today I am going to share a bit more of their story.

Meagan and Ryan got engaged last October. I will never forget that day, because Ryan asked me to be a part of it. About a month and a half earlier, I got an email from Ryan, as did all of Meagan's friends and family, asking us to commit to being a part of a flash mob proposal. We had scheduled practices and all avoided Meagan so we wouldn't slip up and say something. Finally proposal day came, and it was awesome. She went to lunch with her mom and sister after lunch the ladies stopped for some ice cream and took a seat on a bench to enjoy the beautiful fall weather. Little did they know were were hiding upstairs watching out the window of Barnes and Noble. When we got the signal, we all snuck around to get into place.
 

You can see the whole flash mob here. 

The two share a love of their two dogs, being active and the Arizona Cardinals. They often spend time together hiking with the dogs, going to cross fit or just having fun. Their wedding is planned for February.

Unfortunately two weeks ago Ryan, 31, was in a BMX bike accident while visiting family in Las Vegas. A trip that originally was the least of Meagan's worries due to the nature of his career that took him to lots of scary war torn places. He awoke in the hospital, unable to feel his legs. Meagan and her twin sister Lauren immediately got in the car and made their way to Vegas. Meagan has not left his side since.

Ryan had to have surgery to stabilize his vertebrae. The doctors said there was nothing they could do about the damage to his spinal chord. They told him he would have to get used to life in this new body. But Ryan is not one to give up. You'll notice the big smile on Ryan's face in each of these photos. He dove into physical therapy with a smile and a positive attitude. He is determined to walk again. Although the future is uncertain, Meagan is determined to keep him going.

Meagan works in retail and Ryan is a boom operator for the air force national guard (yeah, I didn't know what the meant either, but it means he refuels other planes in the air- like mid flight). A job that requires trips to scary places and a lot of worry.

They are lucky to have a huge network of support. Family and neighbors rallied to do the demolition work on their current bathroom so construction workers could have it ready for Ryan before he comes home. A sign up has circulated for people who want to make meals for the couple. T-shirts have been ordered to show support and wear upon his arrival home. And countless prayers have been said (even some by my fabulously caring readers). As you can imagine, the bills are stacking up. Medical expenses not covered by insurance and some major renovations to their home to make it wheelchair accessible are the major costs at this point.

To help with these costs, they have partnered with HelpHopeLive, a nonprofit that collects funds for individuals to aid with uncovered medical expenses. If you find yourself touched by Ryan's story, if you have ever know someone or you yourself have had to overcome insurmountable odds, if you are looking for a way to make a difference for someone, I encourage you to click here and make a donation (click "Donate Now" at the top of the page.) Every bit counts, so no donation is too small. If you can't make a donation, I simply ask you continue to keep these two in your prayers.

It means so much to me that you guys read my blog. It means so much to me that I get support every day from my readers. It means so much that you all care. I know how much it has meant to Meagan and Ryan to have you on this journey with them too.

I'd like to leave you with this, it's a quote from the shirt we all bought to support Ryan in his recovery.

If you would like to follow Ryan's Journey, follow it on Facebook here.